Football and the difference between men and women

Ooh, I’m getting in trouble for this one.

Women are smart. Smarter than men, most of the time. They are complex beings. In comparison, men are much simpler. This isn’t necessarily a good or bad thing… just a difference.

I think women are much more in tune with emotions and nature. They admit this themselves, whenever they claim to have used “women’s intutition.” After all, have you ever heard of “men’s intuition?” It doesn’t exist, that’s why.

That said, I think packaged with women’s intuition is an innate sense of poor timing (at least from a man’s perspective). Anyone with a mother can attest to this. Doesn’t she always know to wake you up a minute before your alarm was set to go off? Doesn’t she always seem to show up when you are doing something you know you aren’t supposed to be doing? I’m not imagining this. However, I think it extends beyond motherhood to the entire female race.

The trouble with situations like those depicted in the cartoon is that of course you are more important to us than any football game. Of course I want you to be happy and do whatever I can to make you happy. But the game is on, you know, now

This relates to the difference between men and women. We men have one-track minds. This goes back to the days of cave people… the men would hunt, the women would gather food and watch the kids. Men were forced to have hours of undivided attention on a single objective- women were forced to multitask by watching kids and always being on the lookout for saber-toothed tigers and the next bush full of berries. To this day, almost all men have trouble focusing on more than one thing at a time. Something gets our undivided attention, or it gets almost none of it. This is why it is so hard for us to watch football and talk on the phone with you at the same time. We can’t fake it.

We’re also very visual (this goes back to the hunting thing). Something in front of our face is bound to get more attention than any other stimuli. Women can go for long periods talking on the phone without breaking a sweat. Men get bored easily. We want to see you, not hear your lovely voice compressed over phone lines.

And yes, we love sports. It lets men tap into our primal instinct to faction up and wail on each other. Sports are civilization’s way of letting us do it in a controlled setting. Don’t fight it.

By the way, I love you, Lisa!

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One thought on “Football and the difference between men and women

  1. Tomster, THIS IS FABULOUS!!! I copied it so I could show it around at work. I can really tell your parents don’t influence you at all…NOT!

    Love you!

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